Thursday, January 26, 2012

Friendship: The Best Supporter Or The 'Backstabbing Liar'?

I've been thinking of the concept of 'Friendship' for a couple weeks now, as I've watched friendships fall apart from several different levels. Mainly, I've been thinking my own thoughts, but it's always good to bring in a little bit of Scripture. Since it's God's words to us of Divine Authority, it must be the key to solving most (if not all) problems.

First off, put yourself into a place. Someone who has been a really good friend, helpful in times of trial seems to turn on you. Is he or she really turning on you? Or is it just a humanly mistake? (we all, as humans, have tendencies to make 'humanly errors' or mistakes). We need to truly be able to see who our friends are. And although a few of them may really be very wise and knowledgeable, we do need to give them a little bit of grace when we feel like they hurt us. There, usually, is always an explanation for things. Note: Not excuses, but explanations.

I am in a good 'Friendship Circle', and I know that because most of my friends' are really after God's own heart. They may not necessarily speak a lot about it, but even in the more dark, brooding of my friends there's yet still a passion for knowledge and truth. I suppose you could say I live by an old quote from C.S. Lewis: "The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are."

I may add that if you don't have a circle of wise Christian friends, it's better to be alone in your quest for truth then in the company of those who seek ill-gotten things. This idea of mine is backed up by Proverbs 13:20: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm". Now ultimately, no one is really 'wise'. You know, unless if they are'wise' but you can generally tell. In the same way, not everyone is really foolish, and you can generally tell if someone is. Of course, in my understanding, it's easier to tell a true fool then to say if someone is really 'wise' or not. I think I'm straying off-topic a little.

Let me really share what a 'true friend' (even despite our sinful natures) really is. And I've had a few of them in my life already, and I will have more along the road of my life. A friend truly loves his or her friend. And I'm not talking about the love between one man and one woman here, I'm meaning in sibling affection (that doesn't have to be through 'blood family') and why is that? Because under Jesus' sacrifice for us, we're all daughters and sons of the Heavenly generally we are siblings in that respect anyway. When a friend either makes a couple really big mistakes, or is on the path to insanity (whatever that may be, it comes differently to different people) being a true friend means not letting them keep on this path that will eventually lead to death or Hell, no matter what the friend in trouble says or thinks he has it right. But it shouldn't be done in judgment, it should be done in love. As 'true friends' we need to appeal and plea for this friend of ours to listen. They need to know they're cared for, above all else. Besides that, we have to be strong in our prayer to God to bring them back to Him, and we earnestly need to tell the Devil, "No. You can't have my friend. So stop trying."...and we need to pray that God will get him to back off as well. The Bible usually says that friends oughta act to one another how Jesus acted towards us.

It really comes from John 15: 12- 15, so read that if you will. Jesus is speaking right here. He said to love your friends as HE has loved you. Now ultimately, we can't atone for any of their sins because we're not perfect; however, we can lay down our lives for them. But what does that look like exactly? Well, pushing hard to get through, for one, despite what the friend says. Second, we must bring our friend back to the Light of The Gospel, for that is the place where every heart is again made new, mended from its torn veins.

In the instance of someone you thought you could trust, and broke that trust....before you throw that friend away, you need to ask yourself several questions. What did my friend really do? Was there another thing at play? Does this friend actually care? You could probably think of a few more to answer. Another thing is that you need to be forgiving. Jesus also says to forgive others as he has forgiven you.

And if you're the person that someone is trying to reach out to, be a little bit more open. Life is precious...and if we look at ourselves again and find ourselves weak...well the only way to become stronger is to admit we're weak to others. Have you really felt Jesus' affection for you before? Have you gone on a route that shouldn't have been tread upon? If so, that doesn't mistake, no matter how far away you get, He's always chasing after you, always trying to draw your heart back to Him. And don't resist that won't end well for you if you continue to resist. Strength is found in wise friends, in the Word too, but sometimes we can't really interpret things on our own, and we need help with it. The first step to coming clean and walking in the ways of Light is to admit that you're empty, broken, and trying to run from God. The second is to ask a wise friend questions. But first and most of all, you must realize that you can't make it on your own. I've tried that before, and to tell you the truth it never really worked. People care for you. Even if they make a mistake that seems that they really don't care for you. Remember, you always need to look outside of your own perspective. When things are only looked on from one side, that'll always lead to trouble and pain.

Think about that. BLS out.


B.L.S. said...

I have no idea why there are weird highlighting issues...

JadedBlueHeart said...

I like this topic alot. Not that i didn't like the others, just its a little less confusing. lol It also brings up an interesting point: which friend are you? Not you, as in BLS, but in general. :p A true friend is loyal and trust worthy. See, i commented pretty good here! :L

B.L.S. said...

I would love to talk all about it with you sometime. The fact is, I have been on both fronts. 2011, for me, was the year where I've felt the most pain, and most love from my Heavenly Father. I'm much stronger now because of it, and I really want to be able to reach out to those who are in that sort of depression, and I believe I can be of help in that area.

JadedBlueHeart said...

thats great, that you are stronger from it and want to help others. 2011 was the same for me, too.

B.L.S. said...

Yes, it really has been. But my issues were more in the beginning of the year, and the latter half was more calm(ish).

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

JadedBlueHeart said...

yeah, i guess mine was the exact opposite. thats why im still 'recovering' now.

AMP said...

And this is why I'm proud to know you, Ben Swanson... You had me in tears with this one, and I think this is my favorite post so far... Well spoken, and very meaningful.

I think I have been both on the giving and receiving end of the friend pushing away love, including the love of God. One of the most beautiful things I ever felt was simply to let go of pain (it's so odd how you don't even realize that you're the one holding it sometimes), and accept the love freely given to me. And, as you've said before, all I want now is to share that with others.

I wanted to mention Ephesians chapter four because I just read it this morning, and it's almost a complete guide on how to emulate a 'wise' person. I think, to start with, we should try to be who we would want to support ourselves in strength of character and spirit. Then it doesn't seem quite as far off to emulate the image of our perfect Savior.

Thank you for posting this, Ben. It was a blessing. :)

B.L.S. said...

Awww :) Thanks, and you're welcome :) Yes, as have I. I know, right?! You almost never even know you're holding onto the pain until it's removed by God. It's almost as if he just rips the weight from your hands and you're able to stand without your knees buckling. Mhm.

Ah, YES! I love Ephesians Chapter Four. I haven't read that in awhile though, and I'll look at it tonight. :)